Our Lives Interrupted...
I know this is a scary time for everyone.
The touchstones of normal life are vanishing before our eyes.
I am here to support you and share some tools I used in overcoming a death sentence in the form of pancreatic cancer and ones I still use in cancer coaching.
One thing we learn in medicine is that we control ship and sail, but never wind and wave.
“I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.”
Human health does not come with a guarantee nor does our life expectancy. I did everything “right” in terms of diet, health and fitness. I practiced ultimate nutrition my entire life, diligent about health check-ups, never smoked and exercised 5 to 6 days a week for over 40 years. After years of pancreatic cancer treatment and being told I had 3 months to live, I asked my doctor what I could have done differently to not get this death sentence. His response, “Absolutely nothing.”
We are all examining our lives and overall situations. It is important to be as objective as possible. Some things are out of our control and it is important to keep perspective on all of this.
I am using my mind to control my concerns, as I did with my death sentence. Of course there are questions and concerns, but I can say with all sincerity, I am fairly calm as I have taken precautions and am doing everything prescribed to be responsible with others and myself. I never play the “what if” game. I believe this is a result of the healthy denial I have often referred to. It is an astonishing mix of fragility and ferocity. I am not allowing this to be front and center, causing heightened emotions. I coach patients on how our minds can propel us through the most challenging situations and ways to overcome fear and anxiety.
Changing how you think can change how you feel. South African author and fitness researcher Tim Noakes advanced the view that our brains are wired for self-preservation. It is possible to change how your brain interacts with incoming signals and thoughts. Training ourselves with motivational self-talk can have a measurable impact on how effortful we perceive tasks and events. I have often talked about the positive effects of writing in a gratitude journal, expressing affirmations to yourself out loud first thing in the morning or any kind of journaling. Thoughts become things, choose the good ones! I am choosing to focus on the good stories I hear on the news. And, there are many. I do believe there will be a silver lining to all of this and we are seeing many reach out in ways never experienced before.
Here are a few suggestions for how you can choose positive actions and give back during this time:
Donate blood
Participate with Meals on Wheels, which also has a “telephone assurance” program – super helpful for the elderly and those isolated.
Re-examine budget and spending habits – eliminate nonessentials.
Manage snacking and practice mindful eating. Nutrition is essential at a time like this!
Limit time you watch or listen to media coverage and make sure information is gathered from a credible source.
Think about all of the projects you have been delaying that you can now complete. Marie Kondo everything!
Take an online course or participate in a new hobby or skill.
Don’t be neglectful with self-care.
Hydrate more than ever and get plenty of sleep.
Cook all of those recipes you were saving.
Exercise, exercise, exercise! In your home or outside in spacious, open areas. There are plenty of online workout programs to keep us all busy and in shape for a very long time!
Read all of the books you have never had time for.
Write notes and mail to friends and family.
Send emails letting others know you are thinking about them.
Take time to meditate and practice spirituality. Headspace is a great app to start with.
Life is fueled by purpose, motivated by a ticking clock with so much to learn, discover, love and experience. Let us never forget there is extraordinary in the ordinary, with magic in every breath, if we can only see it for what it is. Even now this is so true. Set reasonable expectations – embrace the here and now and believe in yourself! We will get through this if we act responsibly, open our hearts and minds and help others.
My cancer coaching sessions will continue as always – over the phone, Zoom or Skype.
Stay well, be healthy, practice acts of kindness, believe in yourself and live each moment as if this is all there is.
P.S. I wanted to share a helpful recipe for hand sanitizer!
2/3 cup 99% rubbing alcohol (isopropyl alcohol) or ethanol
1/3 cup aloe vera gel
8-10 drops essential oil, optional (such as lavender, vanilla, peppermint, grapefruit)
Bowl and spoon
Funnel
Recycled liquid soap or hand sanitizer bottle